Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
did i walk over a car last night?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
