Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
