WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
