Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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