it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
