so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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