Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
