I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
even my farts smell like vagina
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
