Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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