They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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