my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
