first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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