Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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