Me too!
the condom got lost in my hair
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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