apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
