every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize