This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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