To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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