I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
