Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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