He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize