Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
