Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
