Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
