i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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