Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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