i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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