"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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