If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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