Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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