I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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