she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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