And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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