I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
