Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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