I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
