SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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