i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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