this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
