I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Screwed.edu
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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