He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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