I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
