idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
