ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
