I think my fart just growled at me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
