Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
