I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
