I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
