Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Let's get the cat blown out
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize