can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
