In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
