So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
