I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
