bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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