ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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