HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I pour the whiskey from now on
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
