I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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