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• (417): View more from Missouri

  on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.

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• (714): View more from California

  She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night

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• (425): View more from Washington

  If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.

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