Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Alive.
So much puke
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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