On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
the day after is always just damage control
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
