two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
